Welcome, friend

Ready to UN-SHAME?


  • Have you tried traditional anxiety techniques which haven’t worked, or are exhausting to maintain?
  • Are you tired of trying so hard to control your “negative” thoughts and feelings, only to feel like a failure when they come back? 
  • Do you question why you can’t think or feel like “normal” people? 

I have good news! 

There’s Nothing Wrong With How You Feel!

No, honesty! There really isn’t.

And I don’t mean in the patronising “It’s ok to feel like this, but I can teach you how to think to feel ‘better’” …kind-of-way

No, I mean in a “You don’t even know what you’ve got! You’re a veritable powerhouse of defiance and intelligence, compassion and creativity. Your only problem is you don’t know how good and right you already are! Your emotions are doing their job perfectly! You don’t need fixing or teaching, you need UNLEASHING so you can finally know and like yourself, and express the fullness of who you are in all its glorious intensity and complexity, sensitivity and tenacity” …kind-of-way! 

Sound hard to believe? That’s ok!

Scroll down for 5 questions to UN-SHAME anxiety, and develop next-level emotional intelligence

Welcome, friend

Ready to UN-SHAME Anxiety?


Have you tried traditional anxiety techniques that haven’t worked, or are exhausting to maintain?


Are you tired of controlling “negative” thoughts and feelings, only to feel like a failure when they come back? 


Do you question why you can’t think or feel like “normal” people? 


I have good news: 

There’s Nothing Wrong With How You Feel!

No, honesty! There really isn’t.

And I don’t mean in the patronising “It’s ok to feel like this, but I can teach you how to think or feel ‘better’” …kind-of-way

No, I mean in a “You don’t even know what you’ve got! You’re a veritable powerhouse of defiance and intelligence, compassion and creativity. Your only problem is you don’t know how good and right you already are! Your emotions are doing their job perfectly! You don’t need fixing or teaching, you need UNLEASHING so you can finally know and like yourself, and express the fullness of who you are in all its glorious intensity and complexity, sensitivity and tenacity” …kind-of-way! 

Sounds hard to believe? That’s ok!

Scroll down for 5 questions to UN-SHAME anxiety, and develop next-level emotional intelligence!

“Best therapy I’ve ever had!”

– Josh

“One session changed everything!”

– Helen

“I’ve never experienced anything like it!” 

– Daniel

“The best therapy I’ve ever had!”

– Josh

“One session changed everything!”

– Helen

“I’ve never experienced anything like it!” 

– Daniel

You Don’t Need “Fixing”


Everywhere you go you’ll find the shaming message that anxious feelings are “over-thinking” or “over-sensitive”, and need modifying or regulating. So it’s no surprise you picked this up too and it’s left you feeling like there’s something wrong with you.

I happen to disagree…

I’ve personally witnessed (through working with over 100 clients as an Emotional Reconnection Coach, connecting people with their repressed or shamed emotions)

…that approaching deep, dark and difficult emotions with humility and respect, seeking to understand and integrate instead of challenge and correct, allows them to reveal the most incredible wisdom and clarity.

Like the answer was there all along, hiding in plain sight, in feelings that person was desperately trying to regulate, release or deny. 

Experiencing first-hand, why the emotions and impulses you’re most ashamed of, actually represents the kindest, wisest, strongest part of you, puts YOU back in control and creates clarity and peace, because you can trust every part of you is wise and good, even the parts labelled as “bad” or “sick”

And often in just one session!

“After so many therapists tried to ‘fix’ me, I felt too broken for this to even make a dent. One session with SJ CHANGED
EVERYTHING
!
I realised I’m not broken or ‘unstable’, I just didn’t have the right person to talk to.”

– Helen


You’ll be sent instructions on how to watch the FREE Shame Clinic so check your spam folder if you don’t receive this!

But I digress…

…Back to ANXIETY and how to harness it’s power!

What if… your emotions are doing exactly what they need to? 

What if… how you’re feeling (no matter how uncomfortable or “wrong” you think it is) is actually part of the solution not the problem?

What if… your anxiety is working perfectly?

In my work I’ve noticed that anxiety is often the agony of being pulled in different directions.

It’s the tension between what’s FELT and what’s EXPRESSED.

What’s TRUE and what’s “EXPECTED”

Who you ARE and who you think you “SHOULD” BE.

Anxiety is the inevitable stress of living with big emotions and expressions that are forced into silent or compliance. 

Anxiety is a Natural and Healthy Response to an Unhealthy, Unnatural
Environment of Silence and Suppression. 

Let me explain:

If you’re a deeply feeling, caring person who’s been labelled “too sensitive” or “needy”, or told you need a thicker skin. This creates tension between who you really are and who you’re told to be.

The struggle to become “tougher” or less “emotional” will inevitably create anxiety. Anxiety is a perfectly natural and healthy response to such an unnatural and unhealthy forced and false state of being.

Or maybe you were denied safe and stable intimacy as a child and forced to live more independently than is natural for that age. You learnt that to survive you must function without deep and vulnerable intimacy and this hampers your relationships in adult life.

The subconscious tension between desiring intimacy (humans are wired for deep connection, it’s as vital as air) yet telling yourself you don’t need it, or don’t deserve it, will create inevitable anxiety as no human being can thrive without feeling fully seen and known, enjoyed and accepted.

Or maybe you have a naturally spontaneous, fun-loving side but a sudden  trauma or series of losses overshadowed and you became only cautious and risk-averse. There is NOTHING wrong with being cautious and risk-averse, it’s important not to lose that…

BUT if you’re ONLY ever cautious then the spontaneous, fun-loving side of you never has a chance to express or experience on the level it wants to. You’ll start to experience anxiety because this part of you is forced to shout louder and louder to be heard.


Watch a real client, one-session transformation to witness the power of Unshaming for yourself!

The Solution?

Unshaming is about approaching deep, dark and difficult emotions with curiosity, humility and respect. 

Instead of asking
“What’s wrong?”
We ask
“On what level is this good and right?”

Instead of
“How can I correct this?”
Asking
“What can I learn from this?”

And instead of
“How do I change this?”
To ask
“How do I connect with this more deeply so I can understand and welcome it into belonging, being and wholeness?” 


Here are 5 Questions to draw out the intelligent truths your anxiety may be aware of and trying to bring to your attention. 


5 Questions…


You can use questions like these to explore ANY feelings of anxiety, distress or discomfort. 

Am I recognising dominant, dismissive, disrespectful or dishonest behaviour that I want to confront or protect myself from?

Am I feeling forced to act or live outside my peaceful capacity or free will? (Am I doing what I want to do, or something I have to do?)

Is this emotion trying to remind me of my needs, limits and values? (Is it asking me to step back, step up, or set a difficult boundary?)

Am I lacking validation, support and intimate connection?

Do I feel afraid or ashamed to express a “negative” emotion like frustration, anger, sorrow, fear or vulnerability? 

Too often we try to fix distressing emotions to calm our inner world, without allowing them to alert us to distressing environments and experiences that need addressing in our outer world. 

Maybe you’ve had unreasonable pressures placed on you at work, or by friends or family, or the general culture at large.

Maybe you’re putting on a happy face to “get along” with everyone when actually you’re not ok with the way they’re treating you.

Maybe you don’t have enough information or freedom to make decisions that feel peaceful and protective, so you feel trapped and out of control. 

Maybe you need to slow down and give your body or mind some much needed attention and rest, instead of always looking after everyone else. 

…What if we’re missing the incredible wisdom and healing potential within “negative” thoughts, emotions or impulses?


Too often we try to fix
distressing emotions to calm our inner world,
without allowing them to alert us to
distressing environments and experiences
that need addressing in our outer world.” 



Ready to Learn More?

Do you feel TRAPPED in an exhausting cycle of treatment and relapse?

Would you like to learn a different way of approaching your emotions and instincts? A way that works WITH them instead of against them? Unshaming your natural instincts instead of trying to tame them?


Do you suffer with mysterious physical ailments with no obvious cause?


What if this physical experience is an expression of a repressed emotional reality, a part of you that has been shamed and censored? If this pain could help you understand and become more truly yourself, what would that look like?

Do you struggle to KNOW, LIKE, or TRUST yourself?

If you’re constantly second-guessing, apologising, ruminating or raging against yourself, Unshaming is for you!

Develop an instant and deep understanding of WHAT you’re feeling (including repressed and layered emotions), WHY it’s important… and HOW to Un-shame it so you can use it for deep connection, powerful authenticity and self-agency… in just one session!

I want to Un-shame every part of you, until every inch and every instinct rests into perfect connection and freedom from shame.

Rather than try to describe exactly how Unshaming works, how it is so different from traditional therapy (and how it achieve such dramatic results in record time), it may be easier to walk you through a one-session transformation example so you can see for yourself how this work?

Would that be ok?  


You’ll also be sent instructions on how to join the FREE Shame Clinic, so check your spam folder if you don’t receive this!


Ready to See How This Works?


I’d love to share a real-life Unshaming session, in which my client transformed from debilitating depression to calm, confident clarity in just one session? (It’s really exciting!) 


In this 9-minute video I’ll walk you through a one-session transformation so you can see first-hand how Unshaming helped my client processed and resolved MONTHS OF DEPRESSION in just
ONE SESSION!

YOU’LL LEARN:
– How Unshaming works in a real-client session
– How it’s different from other forms of therapy
– Exactly how we moved from depression to resolution in that one session
– How we processed her trauma without reliving or rehashing it
– How I identified her inner wisdom and let it lead the session
– How we drew out repressed emotions and sub-conscious awarenesses gently and naturally

“I can’t believe the difference
one session made!”

I will tell you exactly what we did, so you can watch the Unshaming therapy happen in real-time. Would that be interesting to see?

If so, pop your email address in below, and let’s continue to Unshame together! 


You’ll be sent instructions on how to join the FREE Shame Clinic, so check your spam folder if you don’t receive this!


Who is SJ?

My name is SJ (Sarah-Jane Ethan) and I’m an independent emotional reconnection coach. I am not a licensed mental health practitioner but I do have a diploma and over 22 years experience of caring and counselling, from nursing, fostering and crisis pregnancy counselling to Samartians suicide prevention helpline and over a decade of pastoral care. (Want to read more about my experience and qualifications, click here)

Today, my passion and practice is a beautiful therapy called Unshaming (developed by ground-breaking psychologist David Bedrick). 

Unshaming is about believing in you.

I believe you don’t need an expert to “fix” you, you need a witness to trust you… so you can trust yourself.

I believe that you, and your body, are the expert on you and your life!

I believe your mental health “issues” are part of the solution NOT the problem!

I believe in how you’re feeling and want to understand and integrate it, not regulate or modify it.

I believe in your anxiety. I believe in it’s beautiful wisdom and ability to reconnect you with emotions that have been silenced and censored. 

I believe in your depression. I believe in it’s power to wake us up to the ways of living that are killing us (not just for you, maybe even the whole world too!) 

I believe in your grief and the ways it opens your heart to bleed love into a world that so desperately needs it!

I believe in your procrastination. I believe in the truth it reveals about who you really are, what you really want, and how you work best. I admire your authenticity and strength to resistance pressure and convention. 


IMPORTANT: You’ll be sent instructions on how to join the FREE Shame Clinic so check your spam folder if you don’t receive this!